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Anyway, as a long-term single person, I became somewhat of an expert on relationships. I'm around couples all the time, and I have a tendency toward intense observation always looking for a story to write. I couldn't help but notice some of the goings on. The life lesson I'm about to share is a direct result of my doing that, and it has really come through for me in the past two years.

The peanut gallery tends to assume single people are always looking for a significant other, and many of them are -- so it's a reasonable assumption. This assumption, however, is based on the fact that life is better when you're in a relationship. The birds sing more often. The sky is bluer, and you don't have to deal with pesky emotions such as loneliness and dejection.

My keen eyes can confirm that this is, in fact, not true. Every depressing sensation you can feel as a single person -- misunderstood, isolated, and sad -- you can certainly feel while in a relationship. And the elations you feel in a relationship -- satisfied, triumphant, and ecstatic -- you can feel while being single.

What Does The Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side Mean?

The key is not to kid yourself that the other guy has it better than you do. So if you're single, shrug your shoulders and know that being in a relationship doesn't make life any easier, and if you're going through a rough patch in your relationship don't let your single friends tell you they have all the fun. They have their good days and their bad the same as you do, and the same as you will if you were to switch places with them. Bear this in mind, too, if you've been nervous about switching statues.

The Grass is Rarely (Almost Never) Greener | HuffPost Life

If the only reason you're still in a relationship is to avoid being single or you're reluctant to give up life as a bachelor ette , trust, if the time is right, the alternative isn't as bad as you think. As I mentioned, I first noticed this when comparing single people to those in relationships, but then I started applying it elsewhere. Career moms compared to stay-at -home moms. Big breasts compared to small ones. Large salaries compared to modest ones.

Notice I say "compared to" and not "verses," because this isn't a competition.

Chris Brown - Grass Ain't Greener (Official Music Video)

No matter what state of being you're in you'll be tempted to look at someone else's state and think they have been magically alleviated of any and all problems. They must have it better than you do. They don't. I promise. They experience embarrassment, stress, pain, insecurity, and wishing they had what others have all the same.

The garden on that side of the fence has both flowers and weeds, so it's in our best interest to stay on our side of the fence and maintain our lawn the best we can. Unexpectedly, this maxim has enabled me to be much happier for my friends when they're experiencing a personal victory.

Suspense lightly sprinkled with kink

Where I once was potentially bitter and envious that things were going well for them, the knowledge that their lives aren't perfect levels the playing field. It's not that I think Ha!

watch You might start to have omnipresent doubts about the future of your relationship, and constantly go back and forth on whether or not breaking up is the right choice for you. As a result, you feel as though you are forever trapped in an ongoing pinball machine. As long as you allow yourself to stay trapped, you can avoid making what you fear is yet another unwise decision.

What you often forget to take into account is that not making a change is also a decision. If have concerns about your relationship, it's absolutely normal: so long as you voice those to your partner, you have the potential to work through them together and strengthen your relationship in the process. Every minute you are in the syndrome is a minute you are not engaged in your relationship. Over time, this can pull you away from your efforts in the relationship and in some cases trigger a leap to go see if the grass is greener.

As cliche as it sounds, it's true that the grass is greener where you water it. If you spend time 'watering' the grass of your relationship, you can work to improve and nurture your connection, and hopefully eventually assuage any doubts you might have had. On the other hand, if you let your doubts and fears cloud your perception of your relationship, you might disengage and create distance from your partner — which will only compound your concerns and make things more difficult.

What Grass Is Greener Syndrome Really Looks Like

Every person and all relationships have flaws. If you're constantly seeking an undefinable version of "better," it's likely that you'll end up unhappy no matter who you're with. But, particularly in a time when everyone is so connected online — we all have access to exes, potential partners, and even total strangers — it can be tempting to pull the plug on a relationship prematurely solely because you want to feel the rush of exploring something new or old, in the case of an ex.

You just have to ask yourself: is it worth throwing away what I have to take a gamble on something unknown? Aside from unplugging from social media or coming up with coping strategies so you don't unhealthily compare your relationship to the ones you see on your feeds , one way to combat those feelings is by making an active effort to be more present and available in your current relationship. Just trust. Otherwise, you get caught up in a cycle of comparison, wondering if what you have is good enough for 'forever,' when it is just about what it good for right now.

That leads to anxiety and suffering. All experiences are meant to help you grow and evolve — no one knows how long that growth phase will last.

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Relax and let it flow. Of course, it's important to note that sometimes, feeling like the grass might be greener on the other side is a real red flag that your current relationship isn't the right one for you — and it's important to be honest with yourself about your relationship satisfaction and trust your gut instinct. But if you think your mindset is a result of something internal that you need to work on, practicing mindfulness can help you gain some clarity.

Hence, a wandering eye to where the grass is greener. Mindfulness lets you sit with discomfort, so you can work through it to grow, instead of the temptation to go.

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